Every great-grandfather was a little boy; every grandmother took her first steps. Some people never got to meet their biological parents, while others have 4 generations of healthy, married couples going strong. Some of us will raise kids, our own kiddos or kids that we bring in, and they, too, will come about into this world in a million different ways.
Raising a child, from the big decisions of school placement and social engagements, to what kind of foods you will encourage and bedtime routines is all intimidating. Their personalities are being knit with each and every day as they graze the earth, meander in your home, find their own feet in the world.
It doesn’t take a degree or certification to know that a parental role is the number one most influential role in a child’s life. Guardians create initial guidelines for right and wrong; they begin to establish roots in children’s thoughts about the world, behaviors and internal beliefs about themselves and others, temperament, conditioning, experiences, and memories all of it. Whether you have biologically contributed to the strands of DNA that this child has, or you get to host a child under your roof for only a few weeks, there is a tremendous responsibility to both pour into and raise up a kiddo, and you should be proud of yourself for taking on of the most rewarding things one can do.
You, in some ways, are the hands holding the structural yarn of this child’s story, even for this season of their story. While that sounds terrifying – there is grace. If your heart is beating you, unfortunately, have the ability, and the trajectory, to stumble. Take heart! The best, most wise-loving parents in the whole world can not have every answer there is.
One of my favorite verses is Proverbs 19:21. It says “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails”
It’s almost as if parents are the hands knitting these children’s stories, but the Lord’s garment, the quilt that He had on His mind from the beginning of time for your kiddo, will prevail. His plan will come to fruition regardless. His guidance will lead and correct after mothers and fathers one stitch, one decision, one day at a time.
I want to write specifically to the adoptive and foster folks real quick. Having interviewed a plethora of foster parents and been in the foster realm for years, no matter how short of a stunt you have gotten to host a kiddo, that kiddo became part of your family. Every night, every conversation, every day that you woke up and chose them, it stitched a piece of the fabric into their story. One patch of the quilt of grace that the Lord has dreamt of is enough to change the whole destiny of a child. One house, one month (or more) is enough to do unimaginably more than you would have thought, dreamed, or imagined.
We are given verses to guide us in the midst of the confusing, amazing world of parenting. I am going to dive into 7 bible verses about parenting and hopefully speak some truth over you!
7 Bible Verses About Parenting
Verse 1. “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it”.
Proverbs 22:6
Having a degree in Childhood Development, my last years have been jam packed with a plethora of statistics and theories that support the magnitude of importance of development in the first few years of a child’s life. It’s proven that 90% of a child’s initial neuropathways are created in the first 5 years of their life. Until an individual hits the age of 25, the brain is still soft and more susceptible to change. Not to say that after the age of 26, people change, neuroplasticity and therapy is a whole other subject with amazing evidence-based research!
Wiring a child’s brain, or unwiring, is a daunting task. It’s constantly happening! Creating a child’s path is simply committing to hold their hand and walk them down a path that they can build Christ-like values and receive wise guidance, and the rewiring and identity formation will come. There will be moments of discipline, or frustration, of growth, but time and time again to hold their hand and take a step forward will build so much trust.
In terms of foster parents who had no say in the first year or decade of a kiddo’s life, again, one patchwork of grace, one stitch of a true, raw, and believing love has more power and influence than you may believe. Your willingness to open your heart and your home to a child and consistently emphasize that they do belong, and that they are enough, will start to rewire the deepest, most internalized lies that have been stapled to their soul for way too long.
It is hard to turn away from the contagious love that the Holy Ghost delivers.
Verse 2. Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4
Children are in desperate need of loving instruction that will guide their feet to high, holy places. Being strict and having rules is not exasperating your child, but protecting them. Quick and unrighteous anger has the ability to not only hinder a child’s growth, but also create an emotional scab on a child, blocking what actually is because they are trying to “quick fix”. Conversely, stern correction followed with intimate grace is a beautiful opportunity.
The Lord’s instruction can definitely be challenging, but the difference between effective instruction and exasperation is the root of intention. In all things “life”, I’ve caught myself having to practice the reflection “Sit, Pray, Breathe, Go”. It is wild how my heart resets in a moment of centering, and it allows me to re-enter my reality with a sense of peace.
Verse 3. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.
Titus 2:7-8
Growing up, none of us had the mental framework to understand why our parents did the things they did. The older I get, the more I deeply respect the hard work that all parental figures put into themselves for weeks and years at a time, to be nothing less than exceptional.
It is not always my first instinct to be slow to speak and quick to listen, to persistently show up time and time again, and strive to be the best I can be. It takes deep intention, motivation, communication, commitment, and a million other things.
Kids love to do the things that they’ve seen done. I wonder if I am more prone to putting in the work to continue to put my best foot forward because I saw so many people ahead of me do it. Our behaviors show kiddos around us what we believe, and what we believe runs down into their beliefs, their actions.
Verse 4. A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.
Proverbs 29:15
This verse isn’t saying to hit a kid with a stick until they are wise, obviously, rather to have disciplinary rhythms in your home that impart good, and mature, behavior.
Imagine schools without means of discipline; there would be no opportunity for growth, no availability to learn. It would be a mess! Not that discipline is equivalent with suffering, but this verse made me think of the verse in Romans when Paul mentions that “suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character, character produces hope”. It takes correction, uncomfortability, denial of flesh to get from point A to point B.
Cultivating age-appropriate discipline in children will not only help them flourish, but will also give them tools or guidelines going forward in their own lives to follow.
Verse 5. Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Psalm 127:3
What a gift the innocent youth is, and what a gift it is to walk alongside them in seasons, in years of their formation.
A tear came to my eye when I was thinking of this verse, and also in terms of the foster care system. I can just see Him overwhelmed joy when he gets to watch His children watch after a child that is not biologically their own but that is also His. To watch His sheep chase and shepherd His sheep…. That is completely what it is about on this side of heaven.
While they are our children, they are also His! What a gift it is to escort and raise up these kiddos through the quick, temporary life we share on this earth.
Verse 6. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7
No matter how slick you are with words, if you are a teacher or you are the farthest thing from one, you have influence in the sphere you exist in. You subconsciously teach people all the time based on the things you do. Your life, your hands, your words, your steps are a lesson plan that you are teaching, without a word ever being said. The things that have been imprinted on your heart, and take shape in your daily rhythms, act as the banner of your inner beliefs and ooze into your sphere of influence.
If you believe in certain Christian values and faith based principles, it is likely that you will teach children the way of the Lord by the way that you live out what has marked you. It may be helpful to intentionally integrate times of discussion with kiddos about the why behind the reason you do the things you do, so that they can understand where you are coming from, and grow in the same way.
The faith-based convictions in your life will be on display when you encounter an interruption but you do not act as the world would. Your child will see, notice, process, appreciate, and learn from that, time and time again! In everyday parenting practices, explain the why behind the things that you do, and how those things have changed you, so they can be changed and marked as well.
Verse 7. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
Psalms 103:13
Children are prone to mess up. They are building the muscles of discernment, wisdom, and knowledge and strengthening the joints of inner beliefs, temperaments, and desires. Mental, socioemotional, physical, or educational growth doesn’t happen overnight but over 18 years and then some!
A slow, patient parental compassion is one of the many factors that build a child’s web of confidence.
Some children have more built-up hurt in their bodies that take the form of misbehavior or rebellion. The injustice and trauma that are trapped in some kiddos’ DNA is absolutely sickening. They are not acting out of ignorance but out of their own experience of the world. Changing their experience of the world is one of the wonderful yet hardest parts of fostering.
While there is unfortunately no overarching quick fix, compassion is a medicine that will mend a child’s spirit slowly.
The Lord has an all consuming, fiery, loyal compassion for His people; temporary mom, foster daughter, biological father, adopted son. Before any title, before our first breath, after any and every mistake, He had us in mind!
His heart burns for you, regardless. Regardless of where you’ve been, what you’ve done, what’s been done to you.
In my own life, I wonder if when my chests burn due to impatience or frustration (both all too regular and inevitable), if it would burn in a different, more compassionate way when I shift my mind to His heart burning for me. Who knows what soaking in the fact that we are His before approaching our own life, our own kids, our own job, may change.
Bible Verses About Parenting Conclusion
Something I think about a lot is that it is all of our first times in this life. A 5 year old has never been a 6 year old, new grandparents have never been grandparents, parents to a first child, or that are fostering for the first time, will simply not have the answers to the season that they are stepping into. What a journey it is to step into a new season, or to remain in a season that you have not completed yet.
Thank God we have a physical book that gives us hope, healing, and wisdom in all seasons. We do not have to know, we won’t know, exactly how to go about anything in this life, including parenting! However, there are so many verses that are bayous for your soul in the deep waters of the unknown. The Lord has so much guidance and strength waiting for you to be had. And He is not going anywhere, there is security in His name.
You are doing amazing things!
About This Author
Abby Akers
Abby Akers is a young, aspiring Christian writer & speaker who grew up and lived in Colorado and now resides in Nashville, Tennessee. She has a degree in Human Development and Family Studies and intends to encourage, equip, walk with, and advocate for the upcoming youth, vulnerable people groups, and those with weary hearts. Her heart burns to encourage those who feel lost, speak life into those who do not see themselves as enough, and to ignite faithful leaders.
