Becoming a foster parent is not for everyone. It involves commitment, patience, resilience, flexibility, and a whole lot of kindness. Fortunately, the rewards far outweigh the challenges, and whilst you might not be able to change the world, you can certainly make a difference in a child’s life by becoming a Christian foster parent.
In most cases, children are placed into foster care when it is determined that they are unsafe within their birth home. This often involves a situation where the child has experienced abuse or neglect, but it can also occur out of many other circumstances – for example, when a parent passes away, and there is no other family available to take care of the child. When a child is removed from their home, foster families are essential for providing an environment where that child can feel safe and secure and, therefore, begin the process of recovery after trauma.
Becoming Christian Foster Parents
Many Christian families have felt a calling to open their homes and hearts to children in need. This is not surprising given the many scriptures that clearly show us God’s heart for vulnerable children. Firstly, God declares himself to be “father to the fatherless”(Psalms 68:5), and the Bible tells us that “religion that is acceptable to God is to care for orphans and widows” (James 1:27).
Becoming a Christian foster parent provides such a wonderful way to demonstrate the love of Christ each and every day. Jesus taught us to “love thy neighbors as ourselves” (Mark 12:31) and calls us to be “salt and light in the world” by showing obedience to Him (Matthew 5:13-14). Through prayerfully studying the scriptures, we learn of the importance of nurturing and protecting those who need it most.
Showing love and care towards vulnerable children is not something that is new for Christians. There is a long history of example that leads all the way back to Jesus himself. We know that Jesus loves children and instructed his disciples to “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven”(Matthew 19:14). Jesus never scoffed at the sick or destitute and instead demonstrated immense compassion and kindness to those in need. By becoming Christian foster parents, we are presented with an opportunity to shelter and protect vulnerable children – demonstrating the heart of God and following the wonderful example set by Jesus.
God has a unique purpose and plan for everybody, and responding to His calls is important for every Christian. By saying ‘yes’ to His plans for us, we are acknowledging that we trust Him and will surrender our own selfish plans and desires in order to follow His will. God’s call can manifest in many different ways, but it often comes in the form of a still, small voice in our hearts. Listen deeply and pray – if God’s plan is for you to become a Christian foster parent, He will surely let you know.
Creating a Nurturing Environment
A home environment that is nurturing, safe, and secure is important for every child to grow, learn, and thrive. Fortunately, God has taught us about the importance of family values that help us create the kind of home that is optimal for children to achieve positive life outcomes.
Christian foster parents can provide a positive environment by being clear and consistent about expectations and demonstrating strong communication and empathy. All children feel safer when there are routines and boundaries in place, but it can take some time for those routines and boundaries to be understood and respected.
A home where the family spends quality time together is important for bonding and building trust. Completing chores together, playing, and reading the Bible together each day will help a child to connect with their foster parents and also with God. Some other ways that you can create a nurturing environment include:
- Be flexible and understand that it will take time for a child to settle into your home and family.
- Encourage and model good communication.
- Talk openly about feelings, and be sure to notice and name a wide range of emotions to support growth in emotional literacy.
- Practice empathetic listening.
- Praise, praise, praise. Give the child lots of positive feedback to help build their self-esteem and a positive sense of self.
- Focus on the child’s strengths and talents and try to give little attention to negative behaviors.
- Be sure to inform the child of any unexpected changes to routines, as this can be unsettling.
- Encourage participation in the community. Take the child to church and support them in making connections with others.
The parable of the Sower teaches us much about the importance of a nurturing environment. The Sower’s seeds fell fruitlessly on many types of ground, but when they fell on ‘good soil’ they bore fruit. Jesus explained this to his disciples and said that the ‘good soil’ is those who have an ‘honest and good heart’ and the seeds are symbolic of ‘the word of God’ (Luke 8:15). If we model this with a good and honest heart, then like the good soil in the parable, we are creating a foundation for children to flourish.
Living Our Christian Values
Parenting really is the toughest job in the world, and it can be even more difficult for foster carers. When a child has experienced trauma and has been raised without knowing the love of God, they will likely display some challenging behaviors. Temper outbursts, offensive language, and even violence can occur when foster children feel some very big, confusing, and overwhelming emotions, even more so when they haven’t had the chance to learn proper ways to manage them. Fortunately, hard work comes with great rewards, and in most cases, the difficulties are overshadowed by the immense rewards that come from becoming a Christian foster parent.
There is a lovely quote from L. R. Knost which states that “when little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos”. This quote fits so strongly with Christian values as even though children might express themselves in negative ways, we can lead by example and show them what a safe and nurturing environment looks like – especially through those most trying times.
As Christians, we know the power of prayer. By demonstrating how we talk to God and ask him to help us through our own struggles, we are modeling positive and Godly ways of managing our emotions. Christian foster parents are able to teach children so much just by going about their normal lives. Over time, the child will see the way that God works in your life and may begin to open their own hearts to the Lord.
There are important values that underpin the daily lives of Christian foster parents, and fortunately, these values align strongly with good parenting practices. The very act of opening your home to a child in need demonstrates one of the biggest Christian values – love.
Love is a fundamental characteristic of God, and Christian foster parents are able to demonstrate this by providing a safe and welcoming home. Through their daily parenting practices, Christian families also live out the values of peace, respect, courage, resilience, and hope. Sharing these values with children in care is a powerful way to build trust, help heal some of the past trauma, and look towards a more positive future.
“There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off”- Proverbs 23:18
Takeaway on Christian Foster Parents
Answering the call to become a Christian foster parent is a nervous yet exciting time. With such a high number of children in need across the country, it is truly a blessing when a family recognizes that they can provide a safe environment for a child who has come into care. Christian foster parents play an essential role in demonstrating God’s love by embracing the less fortunate and opening their homes and hearts to those who need it most.
Therapeutic Family Life is an agency that believes every child is deserving of a safe and loving home. They serve children in need by recruiting and training foster families to ensure that these special families have the knowledge and skills they need to best support the children who come into their care. If you are feeling the call towards becoming a Christian foster parent, Therapeutic Family Life can help you start this exciting journey and walk beside you each and every step of the way. Making a difference in the life of a child is certainly something you will never regret! Think about starting your fostering journey today.
About This Author
Guest Author
Our Guest Authors are current and former foster parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees who have firsthand experience in the foster care system. We value their expertise and insights and are grateful for their contributions to our website. We have decided to keep their identities anonymous in order to protect their privacy, and that of their family. Their knowledge and experiences remain invaluable in helping us raise awareness about the importance of fostering and adopting.
