There are few roles nearly as important and as selfless as one who offers themself to become a parent of a child or of multiple children who are not their own. To willingly raise your hand and to hold the heart of a child who so desperately needs to be embraced is not only admirable, but it is Christ-like.
Scripture calls us to defend the fatherless, to uphold the cause of the oppressed, and tells us that the Lord puts the lonely in families. Volunteering to become a temporary foster parent or going through the process of adoption is such a beautiful response to the Gospel.
However, when the Lord said to look after orphans, He knew it didn’t come without challenges. He never said, promised, or assumed it would be easy. He knew that those who stepped into this journey were going to face difficult days and long nights. Fortunately, it is not in sync with his character to throw a bone into an impossible situation and expect you to have all the answers. He has all the things that you need to love these kids well and navigate the journey that this process is; all he asks for is open hands and willing hearts.
John 15:4 says, “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me”.
The fruit you are able to bear from your life or in your family is a direct outcome of your obedience, trust, and dependence on Him. And as you obey and chase his sheep, whether it is a mundane Tuesday, a big decision, a moment of beauty, or a night of tears, it is important to know that He is simultaneously chasing you. He is working to uphold your heart in the midst of all the challenges, surprises, and heartbreaks you face. He is an advocate, resource, friend, and Father for you, as well as your children. Prayer is the place where you can be reminded of Him and refreshed time and time again.
The Power of Prayer for Foster Parents
As we know, everything on this side of heaven holds power: both the Lord and his sweet, justice-minded dominion, as well as the one who is out to steal, kill, and destroy.
This process allows room for powerful thoughts, both of the spirit and of the flesh, to grab hold of your mind. Navigating different licensing requirements, building relationships with biological parents, or waiting for the phone call to have your house ready for a new child all summon a fleshly response of fear. The lack of clarity welcomes the presence of fear. And fear is something that we believers tend to run into daily.
Thankfully, 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that where the spirit of the Lord is, fear can not exist.
Whether you are in a season of paperwork, the strenuous process of officially adopting, or your time is pulling you closer and closer to a dreaded goodbye, fear is not your only option. Calling on the Lord and beckoning His Spirit to invade your heart doesn’t always rid all your problems (unfortunately), but it does transform and strengthen your weary heart through it all.
Through deep prayer, you will find a peace that delivers discernment, quiets your restless heart, reminds you of who you are and who He is, and gives you the confidence to take the next step by faith and with clarity. Frequently existing and lingering in secret places, or prayer, with Christ is our greatest weapon. He refuses to leave your surrendered hands uninhabited.
Prayer can look a million different ways: a short grace before dinner, lingering communion at night, spontaneous requests, or time set aside to break bread with the Creator. The Lord delights in them all! Like anything else in life, it is a habit that is built through practice. Life is crazy, busy, and unpredictable, but having at least one habitual time every day to return to the feet of Jesus will give your soul the peace and confidence needed to run the race ahead of you.
In the same way that he puts lonely children in families, he puts the parents looking over the lonely children in families as well. Both fostering and adoption are well-worn paths that have been walked by faithful stewards before you and also around you. Karyn Purvis is just one of many stewards who poured out her heart and created seminars that serve as a great resource. Every child and situation will always be unique, but there are a handful of universal things that have been felt, learned, and shared among foster and adoptive parents.
When Communities Pray Together
Not everybody will understand why you are doing what you are doing and how difficult it can be. Few things are more frustrating than the feeling of being misunderstood. In the case of fostering or adopting, the only people who truly understand the immense complexities of taking on a foreign child are the ones who have done it themselves.
Thankfully, the Lord thought of these things. He knitted together communities for a reason. Through communities, you will find thousands of biblical devotionals, support groups, and podcasts that could also serve as a great resource for you and your specific situations. But above all things, the power of prayer – especially prayer for foster parents – remains. Truly, there is something special about sharing a tear, opening up to the raw situations that are happening in your life, and being covered by prayers from fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
Praying for Your Foster Children and Family
Prayer is one of the strongest, if not the strongest, thing that we can do for those alongside us on this side of heaven. To pray for your family, or the family that you have chosen, is not only you surrendering control but also beckoning the Holy Spirit to come and have His holy way; to transform, protect, and invade your people, your children. He is able to do remarkably more than we can even think, dream, or imagine, and it is crucial to believe that his intentions are always for our good and his glory. To pray for your foster children or your biological children is single-handedly the warmest and safest blanket we can wrap these children in.
Not only will children benefit from prayers over them, but the Holy Ghost hovers over, with, and through those who spend time alongside him. In the same way a person who gets out of a pool is still drenched by what was their environment, we are changed when coming out of time spent alongside our Maker.
The presence of Jesus sticks to those who linger in His presence. The “fragrance” of the Lord, which takes form as the fruits of the spirit, rubs off on all who encounter it. Your own prayer life can, and likely will, influence your children’s lives without saying anything, solely by the way you are personally transformed by it.
Whether you are praying for your children or you are hitting your own knees in prayer, you are inviting the God of the universe into your home, and things can not help but change when the Lord is present.
One specific way to incorporate prayer is simply talking to Jesus about your day, what’s on your mind, and what your heart needs today with your children. When we start sharing our lives with Jesus casually, we invite Him to sit with us and transform our hearts. This inviting atmosphere is beautiful to dwell in, even though, at the beginning, we might feel a little intimidated to do so. For kids, it can be less scary and intimidating and feel more like a sweet relationship.
I remember that, for me, as a kid, prayer felt so intimidating. It felt like another language to learn or something to “do right”. Yet, I learned that prayer is being with Jesus intentionally. Reading scripture, talking with Him, sitting with Him, looking at Him, walking with Him, and learning about Him. Whether it is Jesus-based coloring books, worship songs, dancing, or writing, different kids may be drawn to different ways to be with Jesus. For a child who might not have contact with their earthly Father, it is so beautiful and that much more important to invite them into a relationship with their eternal Father.
Prayer is a Lifeline for Foster Parents
All in all, this world is so far from what Eden was. Brokenness and corruption have haunted humanity from the beginning of time. Every child in this system has tasted, in one way or another, the shortcomings of the flesh. You, faithful servant, now get to be a part of their redemption story.
One of my favorite things about our God is that He is a jealous, justice-minded Father. He does not take injustice lightly, and He is near the broken-hearted. As a defensive Father, He uses, empowers, strengthens, and blesses foster parents all the more to adequately love and fight for these children.
You are in a spiritually sensitive field where the enemy has done work and also where the Lord is reclaiming His own. Prayer will be the lifeline and the gateway to the true comfort that your soul longs for. As you cry out to him, He not only sees your “yes” and your willingness to step into this role, but He delights in it. And what He delights in, He dwells in. Where the Lord dwells, all is suddenly made possible.
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Romans 8:31
About This Author
Abby Akers
Abby Akers is a young, aspiring Christian writer & speaker who grew up and lived in Colorado and now resides in Nashville, Tennessee. She has a degree in Human Development and Family Studies and intends to encourage, equip, walk with, and advocate for the upcoming youth, vulnerable people groups, and those with weary hearts. Her heart burns to encourage those who feel lost, speak life into those who do not see themselves as enough, and to ignite faithful leaders.
