Whether you are directly seeking it or the opportunity presents itself, adopting twins is a beautiful way of expanding your family. While the process of adopting a set of twins is very similar to what’s involved in adopting a single baby, there are still a few things you should be made aware of.
This blog will examine the most commonly asked questions about twin adoptions so you know what to expect moving forward.
Are twins more difficult to adopt? The answer is yes and no. From a procedural standpoint, no, twins are not more difficult to adopt. Just like with a single baby adoption, you would contact a Texas-based adoption agency, undergo a comprehensive home study, and wait to get matched with a birth mother looking to place their babies up for adoption. There’s a common misconception that because you’d be adopting two babies, the process will take longer. However, the average wait time for adopting a child is still about a year, maybe 18 months, regardless of whether you’re adopting a single baby or a set of twins.
That being said, adopting a set of twins does come with unique challenges, mainly regarding availability. Out of the 3.6 million live births in the U.S. each year, the CDC estimates that only 114,483 of them are twins. This is already a pretty low number, especially when you factor in that approximately 17% of all multiple births are the result of in vitro fertilization (IVF). Not only will you be competing with other prospective parents who may specifically want twins, but biological parents who undergo IVF are usually not placing their children up for adoption, lessening the pool even further.
To put this in perspective, many adoption agencies only receive one or two sets of twins per year. It’s because of this limited availability that most adoption agencies will caution prospective parents from only wishing to adopt twins, because otherwise, your wait may go from one year to several.
Though it may have been common practice years ago, today, the answer is no, you cannot adopt only one twin. This is because both foster care and adoption agencies consider joint adoption to be in the best interests of the children.
There are many studies to back this belief up, with the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services Administration for Children & Families acknowledging that “…a person’s lifetime quest for personal identity is undeniably interwoven with his or her siblings.” In adoption, regardless of how much love the adopted child has for his or her adopted family, questions about their identity and where they fit in are incredibly common. Having their biological sibling in the home with them helps satiate these questions while also aiding in their mental development.
If you are a birth parent considering adoption, rest assured your chosen adoption agency will find a family who is not only interested in but has the resources to adopt your babies. If you are a prospective parent, rest assured that the adoption agency will not pressure the birth parents to split up their children so they get adopted faster. Keep in mind that many adoption agencies receive lots of applications per day, so there wouldn’t be a need for that anyway.
To adopt twins, you have several options. The first is with an adoption agency. Adoption agencies, regardless of whether they are public or private, faith or non-faith-based, or specializing in children of a specific age who are up for adoption, are preferred by many prospective parents and birth parents because of their screening methods. Before a parent can be approved to adopt, they must not only meet the requirements set forth by the state, but they must undergo home studies, extensive interviews, and background checks to ensure they are fit to raise a child.
Adoption agencies hold legal custody of the children placed for adoption from the time of their birth until their adoption has been finalized. One of the main reasons why so many prospective parents like working with adoption agencies is because they get to be put on a waitlist and can then move forward once they match with the birth parents. It often feels like a more streamlined process.
Your other option is to go through the state’s foster care system. Currently, there are more than 20,000 children in Texas’ foster care system, and you can search these profiles yourself via the Texas Adoption Resource Exchange website. Here, you can learn more about the adoption through foster care process, as well as enter any unique characteristics you want in your adopted child, such as your preferred gender, age, and race. You will also be able to filter which physical, emotional, medical, and behavioral needs you’re willing to accept, if any.
For prospective parents looking to adopt twins, one of the fields you can select includes “Group Type.” Here, you can choose “Siblings Only” to increase your chances of adopting twins. Though you may come across profiles for siblings of different ages, this is your best chance of finding any sets of twins in the Texas foster care system.
If you’re interested in adopting two babies, get prepared now for all those double expenses. In other words, yes, adopting two babies will cost more than if you were only adopting one. As for how much additional money you’re spending, that’s going to vary.
In terms of basic fees, you will have to pay for twice the amount of paperwork, legal fees, and application costs. For example, if you hire an adoption attorney, they will have to make sure that the birth parent’s rights are terminated and that paperwork is filed on time and correctly. You will be billed for these hours.
Furthermore, your caseworker will need to produce and present two home studies to the courts, as they must be certain that you have the mental ability and financial resources to care for two people. Remember, even though you’re adopting a set of twins, they are two individual processes, so this is where your common adoption fees will double. Where things get a little hairy is when it comes to financial assistance paid to the birth mother.
Generally speaking, prospective parents working with an agency will be paying anywhere from $30,000 – $65,000 to adopt a child, including a set of twins. This range covers a host of different services, not limited to:
Providing financial resources to the birth mother throughout her twin pregnancy and up to birth is where a lot of the expense comes from. Also known as living expenses, prospective parents could be financially responsible for assisting with the birth mother’s rent, utilities, transportation, food, maternity clothing, emotional or educational support, medical bills, and any other reasonable needs. These expenses can be due to varying reasons, such as increased weight gain compared to single pregnancies, which may mean a need for maternity clothes more often. Another reason could be because expectant mothers of twins are required to go to more prenatal appointments due to having higher-risk pregnancies and early deliveries.
In Texas, there are a set number of requirements you must meet to even be considered a good fit for adopting a child. These include being at least 18 years old, having a clean record, and having a stable home and lifestyle, among other things. Though they’re not necessarily considered requirements, most Texas agencies prefer their prospective parents to be in good health and between the ages of 25 and 50.
As such, you can expect to have to meet these same requirements if you’re adopting multiples. That being said, extra emphasis will be placed on your finances. Parents seeking to adopt multiples will need to prove that they are financially stable and equipped to support these children. This includes presenting the following:
Remember, you will need to have documented proof that you have the resources to provide for these children, meeting their health, educational, and lifestyle needs.
In addition to being able to provide for your child financially (among other things), you’ll also need to prove that you understand the dynamic that exists between twin siblings. While all siblings are close, twins share a unique bond, with a good portion of their identity being that of their twin. Lots of this has to do with the fact that twins are often dressed alike, treated the same, and even have the same circle of friends. These dynamics can lead to twins having a desire for independence and individualism, but also tension in the sibling relationship.
Understanding the unique bond twins share is imperative to building a healthy family dynamic. Parents are encouraged and reminded to develop a unique bond with each twin and avoid comparisons that can lead to low self-esteem.
Hands down, the biggest challenge that can come with twin adoption is the wait. As with any type of specification, the more detailed you are about what you want, the longer you may have to wait to get it.
That being said, once you adopt twins, you may encounter other unique sets of challenges. Children who are adopted often have questions about why their birth parents gave them up. While this may be a difficult subject to broach with any adoption, questions and feelings like these will be doubled in twin adoptions.
These common feelings of abandonment may be more prevalent in older twin adoptions, especially if they remember the bonds shared with their biological parents. The timeframe for adopted children to feel attached to their adoptive families varies but could take up to a year or more. With so much excitement about your new child joining your family, struggling with this bond can be challenging and make you feel like you’re doing something wrong. However, there are some things you can do to provide a supportive environment during this adjustment period:
If there were games, routines, or habits that your twins were used to before the adoption, for example, having a specific comfort meal, then (if it’s safe and positive) be sure to include it in their new routine.
Though the adjustment period will take some time, it can be made easier if you create an environment that consists of activities or habits they’re used to. This can make them feel more comfortable.
Just like anyone, your newly adopted twins aren’t going to like to be pressured to develop an attachment to you and your family because, at the end of the day, you are strangers to them. Likewise, if you adopted them from the foster care system, they may feel resentment for being with you instead of their biological families.
These are all natural emotions for them to feel, so the best thing you can do is give them some time to adjust to their new surroundings. Instead of hovering or pressuring, make it known that you are here to listen to them and are here for them, including answering whatever questions they have. Remember, though it may be a parental instinct to shield your children from sensitive topics, keeping them in the dark, especially about this transition, may make them feel even more scared. As long as you relay the information in an age-appropriate way, answering their questions can help establish trust. Trust is a building block for developing a strong bond.
During this transitional phase, it’s great that your twins will have one another. As detailed above, adopted children may suffer from identity, attachment, and self-esteem issues. Fortunately, these can be worked through with the help of their biological siblings. With their sibling able to share in their experience, they’re less likely to feel alone and misunderstood; they have a built-in support system who can share their mixed feelings. At the end of the day, we all need someone who understands us on a deep level. Twin siblings provide this with one another.
Having the ability to choose the gender of the twins you adopt comes down to how you go about adopting. If you adopt via the state’s foster care system, you will usually be able to specify which gender you want. Likewise, private adoption agencies commonly allow prospective parents to have a gender specification.
While there’s nothing wrong with having a gender preference, possessing one can have some drawbacks. For example, in the United States, even though there is a slim margin between how many males (52%) and females (48%) are up for adoption, girls are overwhelmingly adopted more often than boys. Current statistics show that approximately 75% of prospective parents prefer to adopt a girl.
There is already a significant waiting period for adopting twins, let alone having a gender specification. This means it may take you even longer to adopt a child. Remember, when it comes to adopting, you have to keep an open mind and ask yourself: “What’s more important? Having a child of a specific gender or getting to be a parent?” As briefly mentioned above, there are tens of thousands of children currently available for adoption in the state of Texas; having a gender preference, while normal, will only prolong your waiting period, as well as theirs.
Adopting a child, especially a set of twins, can be incredibly rewarding. Instead of changing one life, you’re changing two and providing a stable, loving, and welcoming home to two people who need it, whether they are infants, toddlers, or teenagers.
As such, understanding what to expect from the adoption process in Texas is imperative to help you and your co-parent prepare in terms of wait times, costs, and future family dynamics. Yes, it will be expensive to adopt twins. Yes, it may extend your wait time. However, it is also one of the most joyful, rewarding experiences you can have.
If you are interested in opening your heart and your home to a set of twins in the state of Texas, please don’t hesitate to reach out to Therapeutic Family Life. Whether you have questions about becoming a foster or adoptive parent or want to know more about our process, give us a call, and a member of our team will answer all your questions and help you get started: (800)-394-4939.
Courtney Dercqu is a freelance writer and editor living in Central Florida. Having written about everything from healthcare to tourism, she holds a passion for helping others, which is how she landed at Therapeutic Family Life. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in Creative Writing and English. Her work has been published in Elite Daily, Collective World, Thought Catalog, The Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more.
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