Adoption is a beautiful way for children to find loving, permanent homes and for families to grow. When considering adoption, one of the most important decisions is whether to pursue an open adoption or a closed adoption. This choice will impact the relationships between the adopted child, adoptive parents, and birth parents.
Choosing between open or closed adoption depends on the needs and situation of each family. The decision should be made thoughtfully, as the level of openness will impact all members of the adoption triad. Most importantly, you select the option that will create the healthiest environment for the adopted child to grow up loved, supported, and understood. With thoughtfulness on all sides, open or closed adoption can successfully build a family.
What is Open Adoption?
An open adoption is an adoption in which the birth parents and adoptive parents agree to have access and communication with each other. This agreement allows for varying degrees of openness through the sharing of information, photos, letters, phone calls, and even personal visits.
The main characteristics of open adoption include:
- Identity disclosure – The birth parents and adoptive parents know each other’s full identities. This allows direct communication between the parties.
- Exchange of information – Birth parents and adoptive parents can exchange information directly such as letters, emails, phone calls, photos, updates about the child, etc. The frequency and type of contact is customized to each adoption situation.
- Visitation – Some open adoption arrangements may include visitation. Birth parents may be allowed to have periodic visits with the child. Visitation guidelines are agreed upon by all parties involved.
- Evolving relationships – Contact and roles between the birth and adoptive families can change over time as the child grows up. The level of openness may increase or decrease as circumstances change.
- Legal agreement – A formal open adoption agreement detailing the rights, roles, and expectations of all parties is drawn up. This contract is legally enforceable.
Maintaining open adoption relationships requires ongoing effort and commitment from both the birth and adoptive families. It’s important to communicate respectfully, adjust to changing needs, support the child’s well-being, and consult any adoption professionals as needed. With maturity and empathy on all sides, open adoption can facilitate positive lifelong connections.
What is Closed Adoption?
Closed adoption refers to an adoption arrangement where there is no contact or information shared between the adoptive parents and the biological parents. Some of the key features of closed adoption include:
- The identity and any information about the biological parents is kept confidential and not disclosed to the adopted child or adoptive family.
- There is no direct contact or communication between the adoptive parents and biological parents before, during, or after the adoption process.
- All documents related to the adoption and biological family history are sealed by the court or adoption agency. Access to these records is restricted.
- The adopted child takes on the full adoptive identity, with no legal ties remaining to the biological family.
There are several reasons why prospective adoptive parents may choose closed adoption, like having a sense of emotional security and full parental rights and not having the risk of interference from biological parents. This makes it easier for the adoptive family to bond and establish their roles with certainty, something that is especially significant in infant adoptions since it allows for a fresh start where the child can grow up without feeling divided. Moreover, the adoptive parents can better control how and when to address the adoption with the child.
For the adopted child, a closed adoption arrangement can have varying impacts. On the positive side, it allows the child to fully immerse in the adoptive family. However, the secrecy around their origins can also be difficult emotionally. Additionally, not having any family medical history can be challenging for health reasons. The biggest drawback is if, later in life, the adopted children want to learn about or even meet their biological family since closed adoption permanently eliminates this possibility.
For birth parents, the loss of parental rights and lack of any future contact or updates on the child’s well-being can be difficult. However, for birth mothers who experienced social stigma related to the pregnancy, closed adoption provides privacy and finality.
Legal Considerations
Adoption laws vary by state, so it’s important to understand the legal considerations regarding open and closed adoptions in your jurisdiction. Some key factors to examine are open adoption agreements, enforceability, changing laws, and legal risks.
Although courts decide visitation and contact rights for the birth parents, some states allow both parties to write an adoption agreement outlining the contact and communication preferences. Courts can also make certain determinations that enforce contact based on the best interests of the child if disputes between the parties arise down the road after agreements have been made.
On the other hand, changes in the law can have just as much impact as court mandates after agreements. Since adoption laws and state laws change constantly over time, it is important to remain current on those changes in case your open adoption is affected by them. Consequently, violations of post-adoption contract agreements can lead to legal action.
Thoroughly researching state adoption laws, with an attorney’s guidance, ensures you make the most informed choice for your family, but be ready to adapt as laws change. Ultimately, what matters most is the child’s well-being, not just upholding a prior agreement.
Emotional Considerations
Adoption impacts the emotional lives of all members of the adoption triad – birth parents, adoptive parents, and the child. Understanding the emotional factors can help inform the decision between open or closed adoption.
For birth parents, placing a child for adoption often involves intense grief and loss. Even in voluntary placements, birth parents may struggle with feelings of regret, guilt, and mourning. Maintaining some level of openness can allow birth parents to receive updates and photos, helping them process these emotions. However, contact may also be a painful reminder of the loss.
On the other hand, adoptive parents may feel insecure about the child’s connection to the birth family since openness is something that requires maturity and confidence in the parental role. This is why some adoptive parents may prefer closed adoption to avoid the involvement of the birth family.
For an adopted child, openness provides valuable access to the birth family and cultural heritage. However, it also introduces complexities surrounding identity development and feelings of split loyalty or rejection. Closed adoptions might provide a sense of security, but they often leave the child with questions about their origins.
Desired Level of Contact
When considering open adoption, it is important for all parties to discuss and agree upon the desired level of contact. The level of openness can range widely, from fully open with frequent direct contact to more limited contact like occasional letters and photos to a semi-open arrangement with contact only through the agency, all the way to a closed adoption with no contact after placement.
Setting clear expectations and boundaries around the level of contact is crucial. Adoptive parents may prefer occasional updates through the agency rather than direct contact with birth parents. Birth parents may wish to receive photos and letters but not have direct visits. Adopted children may desire ongoing direct contact with their birth families as they grow up. Defining the type and frequency of contact upfront helps manage expectations.
Some key factors to consider when establishing the desired level of contact in open adoption:
- The comfort level of each party – Assess what each person feels comfortable with in terms of the type of contact. This can evolve over time as well.
- The wishes of the adopted child – As the child grows older, their preference around contact should be taken into account.
- The ability to set healthy boundaries – Make sure all parties can respect the agreed-upon boundaries. This may involve support from adoption counselors.
- Flexibility for change – Understand that the level of contact may need to be adjusted over time as circumstances evolve. Maintain open communication.
- Laws and adoption agency policies – Adhere to any legal requirements or agency rules regarding post-adoption contact.
Defining the desired level of contact allows all parties to enter into an open adoption arrangement with clear expectations, helping lead to a smooth and fulfilling experience for all. The level of contact can be reassessed periodically, but setting that framework from the start provides essential guidance.
Benefits of Open Adoption
Open adoption provides numerous benefits for adoptive parents, birth parents, and children.
For Adoptive Parents
Having the ability to build a relationship with birth parents and learn more about the child’s background and medical history can provide invaluable context. Additionally, adoptive parents can have peace of mind knowing the birth parents are comfortable with the adoption and the child is in good hands, and they can also be confident of the long-term success of the adoption.
For Birth Parents
Birth parents share feeling comfortable knowing their child is safe, happy, and cared for after getting to know the adoptive family and clearing up any uncertainty. They can receive updates and photos, providing closure and reassurance after placing their child up for adoption. They can stay connected throughout the child’s life and they can develop a positive relationship with the adoptive parents as well.
For the Child
The adopted child can have an understanding of their background and upbringing if he or she is kept in contact with the birth parents. They can also have a larger support network and an extended family. Opennes reinforces the child was placed on adoption out of love, helping to avoid feelings of rejection. And they have a better chance of integrating their adoption into their identity in a positive way.
Potential Drawbacks of Open Adoption
While open adoption offers many benefits, it also comes with potential challenges that families should thoughtfully consider, like having to navigate complex relationships from both adoptive parents and birth parents, not to mention the child’s possible confusion moving through the families.
Another potential drawback would be having to set boundaries that might be complicated for the people involved. For example, adoptive parents might feel anxious that birth parents are overstepping their role, and birth parents might feel their wishes aren’t being taken into consideration. On these occasions, it would be best to seek professional adoption counseling to effectively guide both sets of parents in setting appropriate boundaries that work for everyone.
Benefits of Closed Adoption
Closed adoption provides a number of benefits for the adoptive parents, birth parents, and the adopted child.
For adoptive parents
Closed adoption offers increased privacy and control over information about adoption, the ability to raise the child without birth parents interfering, and avoiding complex relationships that might confuse the child about both parties’ family roles, all while providing easier assimilation from the child into the adoptive family.
For birth parents
They have privacy and confidentiality about the birth and child placement, and they can move on with life without the ongoing reminder of having placed the child up for adoption. Birth parents also have the chance to avoid potentially complicated relationships with the adoptive family and have the comfort that their child is being raised in a stable and nurturing home environment.
For the adopted child
Benefits of closed adoption for the adopted child include the potential of avoiding feeling torn between two families, a lower likelihood of identity issues or confusion about their background, and the ability to be fully assimilated into the adoptive family.
Open Adoption vs Closed Adoption Conclusion
As we have discussed, open adoption and closed adoption both have potential benefits and drawbacks that must be carefully considered when choosing between these options. Key factors to weigh include the desired level of contact with the birth family, the emotional needs of those involved, and legal considerations that may vary by state.
The decision between open or closed adoption should be made after careful reflection on which environment would be healthiest for the child. Remember that there is no universally “right” option, as each adoption situation is unique. When adoption is undertaken in a thoughtful manner and with the child’s best interest at heart, the child’s potential to thrive and live a joyful life is boundless, no matter which adoption path a family takes.
